As I mentioned in my Being Me, Bravely post, being a mom is not easy. It's a job that you have 24/7 for the rest of your life, and those first few months are a brutal awakening. Literally, you will be awake way more than you want to be or can physically tolerate. You will be needed by your child all the time. You will either be feeding your baby (or trying to if you're still figuring out breastfeeding), dressing your baby, changing your baby's diaper, cleaning up spit up or pee/poop that made it's way out of the diaper, washing your clothes and your baby's clothes, trying to figure out how to swaddle your baby so he/she will fall asleep and stay asleep if you lay him/her down, saying "sh, sh, sh" repeatedly while hoping your baby will actually fall asleep in the first place...and all of that literally takes up 24 hours of your day. So, there is no time left to take care of yourself, feed yourself, bathe yourself, or rest. We're exhausted and losing our minds. This, my friends, is why we need mommy friends. We get it, like no one else will.
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| This is me trying to act like I've got it all together but I'm miserably exhausted. (Samuel, a few weeks old) |
Husbands can be a huge help, and maybe some are no help at all. Either way, we mommies tend to think that we have to be strong all the time. We think it all rests on us and that we are not allowed to have moments of weakness. We'll shower someday, we tell ourselves, and we'll sleep again one day, we hope. Do you know how hard it is to live on little- to-no sleep? If you've ever been the mommy of a newborn, then I know you do. And I want you to know, you are not alone. I am here for you. And there are other mommies out there that want to be there for you.
My new hometown is filled with so many resources for moms, but you have to be willing to take a chance and meet new people. You have to be brave. My MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group is where I have met so many fabulous women who are crazy about their kids, but who also appreciate their "mommy time". We get together so that we can grow emotionally and spiritually and find other moms who get what we're going through. We get together to support one another and to reinforce the fact that we're not alone. We learn about things that are important to moms, like how to deal with our mommy fears, or how to start building Christmas traditions. We learn how to be crafty together and we give what we can of ourselves through service projects. And when we have sleepless nights, or feel like our home lives are struggling, we're there to listen, pray, give advice, and pick each other up.
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| Part of my village - MOPS friends! |
One of my MOPS friends, Julie Ann, said something during a playdate this week that really stuck with me. We were discussing how hard having little bitty babies is, especially when you feel like you're alone in your role.
She said something alone the lines of, "It really is true that it takes a village to raise a child. This is our village."
This is a traditional African proverb, and one that I've heard many times in my life. However, it now has an entirely different meaning to me. My children are being raised by me and their dad, by their grandparents, by their teachers, babysitters, and child care workers; but, I know that I also need the support of all those mommy friends to do my part. They are part of this village, too. Without their wisdom, encouragement, guidance, support, and love, this mom gig would be a lot harder. Having my mommy friends has taught me that I'm not strong when I'm on my own. I'm strong when I know how to ask for help. Somehow, we got this notion that we are the glue of the family and we are supposed to take care of everyone. I guess it's just in our nature. But, we have to take care of ourselves, too. It's really hard to do that when you are brand new at this gig and you are so scared to mess something up and you're just so tired....hey, it's ok. Take a deep breath, know how blessed you are, and if you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed - ask for help. If your husband or family can't give you the help you need, that's when your mommy friends come into play. As my wise friend Julie Ann reminded me this week, it takes a village to raise a child.
Mind blowing, right?
xoxo,
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