Mommy Revelations

I've had lots of "mommy time" this week, as in, time with other mommies. If you are a brand new mom or are expecting your first child, I have some advice for you. Find other mommies to be your friend. You will need them to get you through all the tough times ahead.

As I mentioned in my Being Me, Bravely post, being a mom is not easy. It's a job that you have 24/7 for the rest of your life, and those first few months are a brutal awakening. Literally, you will be awake way more than you want to be or can physically tolerate. You will be needed by your child all the time. You will either be feeding your baby (or trying to if you're still figuring out breastfeeding), dressing your baby, changing your baby's diaper, cleaning up spit up or pee/poop that made it's way out of the diaper, washing your clothes and your baby's clothes, trying to figure out how to swaddle your baby so he/she will fall asleep and stay asleep if you lay him/her down, saying "sh, sh, sh" repeatedly while hoping your baby will actually fall asleep in the first place...and all of that literally takes up 24 hours of your day. So, there is no time left to take care of yourself, feed yourself, bathe yourself, or rest. We're exhausted and losing our minds. This, my friends, is why we need mommy friends. We get it, like no one else will.

This is me trying to act like I've got it all together but I'm miserably exhausted.
 (Samuel, a few weeks old)

Husbands can be a huge help, and maybe some are no help at all. Either way, we mommies tend to think that we have to be strong all the time. We think it all rests on us and that we are not allowed to have moments of weakness. We'll shower someday, we tell ourselves, and we'll sleep again one day, we hope. Do you know how hard it is to live on little- to-no sleep? If you've ever been the mommy of a newborn, then I know you do. And I want you to know, you are not alone. I am here for you. And there are other mommies out there that want to be there for you.

My new hometown is filled with so many resources for moms, but you have to be willing to take a chance and meet new people. You have to be brave. My MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group is where I have met so many fabulous women who are crazy about their kids, but who also appreciate their "mommy time". We get together so that we can grow emotionally and spiritually and find other moms who get what we're going through. We get together to support one another and to reinforce the fact that we're not alone. We learn about things that are important to moms, like how to deal with our mommy fears, or how to start building Christmas traditions. We learn how to be crafty together and we give what we can of ourselves through service projects. And when we have sleepless nights, or feel like our home lives are struggling, we're there to listen, pray, give advice, and pick each other up.

Part of my village - MOPS friends!

One of my MOPS friends, Julie Ann, said something during a playdate this week that really stuck with me. We were discussing how hard having little bitty babies is, especially when you feel like you're alone in your role.

She said something alone the lines of, "It really is true that it takes a village to raise a child. This is our village."

This is a traditional African proverb, and one that I've heard many times in my life. However, it now has an entirely different meaning to me. My children are being raised by me and their dad, by their grandparents, by their teachers, babysitters, and child care workers; but, I know that I also need the support of all those mommy friends to do my part. They are part of this village, too. Without their wisdom, encouragement, guidance, support, and love, this mom gig would be a lot harder. Having my mommy friends has taught me that I'm not strong when I'm on my own. I'm strong when I know how to ask for help. Somehow, we got this notion that we are the glue of the family and we are supposed to take care of everyone. I guess it's just in our nature. But, we have to take care of ourselves, too. It's really hard to do that when you are brand new at this gig and you are so scared to mess something up and you're just so tired....hey, it's ok. Take a deep breath, know how blessed you are, and if you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed - ask for help. If your husband or family can't give you the help you need, that's when your mommy friends come into play. As my wise friend Julie Ann reminded me this week, it takes a village to raise a child.

Mind blowing, right?

xoxo,

Mommas Are Never Alone, and That's the Truth!

It's safe for me to say that today has been a pretty ordinary day for a mother of two under/at two. If you're not a mom or caretaker of little ones, you may not be able to relate as much, but for those who are, I know you've been down this road before: using the bathroom --- with everyone crammed in with you.

I texted my husband after this morning's eventful bathroom experience and reminded him to enjoy every peaceful bathroom moment he had today, because mine are never peaceful. Or private. Unless I fasten my two-year-old into her booster seat, stick my nine-month-old into his exersaucer, turn Mickey on, and keep the door cracked from the side hallway, so I can make sure no one tries to jump/climb out. Although if they did, what would I do? Stop myself from going to the bathroom and run out to grab them? Probably not. I'd probably just let them continue, unless it got really dangerous (I think).  Anyway, even in this ideal situation, I'm still not having peaceful, private time, as the door is half open and both kids may or may not be yelling my name. On repeat. 

However, there are times in my life that using the bathroom was a me time and I know that one day it will be again. So I'm not at a loss. In fact, I'm sure that when the day comes when I do get to use the bathroom on my own, I will miss my littles and their constant intrusions. It'll be kinda lonely, I suppose.

Today's bathroom visit not only had my nine-month-old trying to crawl through the door that my two-year-old was trying to shut on him, but my three-year-old Lab insisted on joining in the mix. 

(Note: we were in our powder room downstairs, not the full master bath. Think tight, small spaces). 

I think my cat was the only one giving me some space. She's a cat, though: she understands the need for space. As I was feeling slightly overwhelmed at the whole scene, I realized how utterly hysterical it all was. Babies yelling at each other and at the dog, yelling at me for help, watching me as I finished up, and making honest toddler comments like, "Eww! Yucky!". So I just started to laugh. And, document with my camera phone. What else can we do but laugh and take pictures, right? 

** I apologize for the poor quality of photography; I was multitasking and couldn't focus on lighting and camera angles. 

Mommas, next time this happens to you, don't despair. Be grateful. How blessed are we that we have someone to share our bathroom time with? I can't imagine having it any other way. Except with more babies and dogs piling on in. 

Have a blessed day!

xoxo,

Being Me, Bravely

For my mom friends who are in MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), you know exactly what my post title means. "Being you, Bravely" is our theme this year and our challenge, as moms, is to embrace ourselves, face our fears, and take those brave steps of motherhood. Being a mom is so hard - in fact, it might be the hardest thing I've ever done. There are so many unknowns, so many challenges, and it can be scary.

But what I've learned from this amazing group of women and the many MOPS resources, is that I'm not alone. You, fellow mom, are not alone. We are in this together, because we've all been there. When your baby is up every couple hours, hungry and crying, and you just want to sleep because you're so sleep deprived you might go insane: we've been there. And when you just can't do it anymore and you leave your baby to "cry it out" and you feel like your heart is being torn in two and that you're a terrible mom for letting your baby cry like that: yup, done it. How about when your two-year-old starts taking her diaper off in bed for no apparent reason, except to pee all over the bed and then yell for you in the middle of the night for hours, so the next night you try duct taping the diaper shut and sticking a onesie on her? Ok, maybe that's just me. But the point is - motherhood is one BIG FAT challenge! And I wouldn't trade it for the world. Nothing is better than the sound of those little feet running down the hallway, the giggles between siblings as they chase each other through the house, the eskimo kisses before bed...yup, so worth it.

I'm a mom. It's so hard. And I love it.

So this year, I'm taking on the challenge of being me, bravely. One part of this challenge is "The Brave Collective." The head honchos at MOPS describe this as choosing to share your courage with others, because when you share, the courage multiplies. Collectively, we become brave. The plan is to grab a group of ladies, sit around a table together, and share your "brave" (something that you want to take on this year that requires you to be brave). Then you can share your journeys with each other as you conquer your braves, knowing that your friends are holding you accountable and as fellow brave moms, are there for you. And it doesn't have to be something monumental. It can be anything that is something you feel you need to do, want to do, for YOU.

Well, I haven't done the table part, but I want to share my brave with you today. This year, I, Lizzie, want to become a blogger. Yes, I'm already blogging right this minute, but I want to be a REAL blogger: writing regularly, making it a priority, growing in the blogger community, sharing my deepest moments with my fellow readers, and reaching out to other moms, letting them know they are not alone. I love to write and I love being a mom. So there it is. I'm already feeling a little braver! Now the plan is, because I've decided to be brave and share my brave thing, hopefully I will continue to be courageous and reach my goal. Thank you so much for your support already by reading today's blog. Now it's your turn! What's your brave?

xoxo,